English Rose Creations ~My life and work as a PSP addict~

15th June 2011.....It's me again............

2011-06-15T04:20:00.000-07:00

15th June 2011

Where does the time go.........seems to fly when you are enjoying yourself...and goes so slowly when you are not!! LOL!!

I have had to reformat my computer a couple of times...in April the motherboard blew and i foned dell to get a quote for repair and they said it would cost around £200+..and would be better to buy a new one...ha-ha!! This one is only 3 yrs old...... what they think...i am made of money!!

.i found a local tekkie who repaired it like new for £120....so wont be dealin with Dell ever again and if i need a new computer i wont be buying Dell either....!!g

Martin arrived from Oz on march 17th...and has stayed with me a lot...more than ever... he says he is in selling mode now and will sell 2 properties in Oz and buy one over here for us to be together....!!
One of these days we might get together properly...tho with him still taking off when he likes i dont know that it will be a good idea....and i certainly wont give up my flat until i knwo for sure he wants me with him....!! After 15 years together i should be used to his antics...business always comes first...dont like it...but i poke upw ith it cos i know he loves me....

I havent seen David my son for a while...so no news is good news...i am sure i would have heard soemthing if he was ill...the hospital HIV co-oridnator promised to call e if he was admitted to hospital as he hasnt got me down as next of kin...even tho i am his mother....

In April my neice Kyla....was diagnosed with Cancer of the breats...only 43...with a 2 year old daughter...she has chosen to have chemo first to shrink the tumour...then surgery later in the year.... i feel so for her...she is terrified as my mum died of c/a breast 20 years ago...

Unfortunatley for Ky the best place for her treatment was the Royal Marsden in Sutton, Surrey the annexe to the London...Royal Marsden Hospital...my mother died there..so Kyla has chosen to have her treatment at The Royal Gulford instead.... not a nice year for her...bless her and i pray she makes a full recovery.....

Got some bad news this week....Sunday night... my niece Kerry called me to say her brother had been foudn dead of heroine overdose.... poor carl...he was such a tortured soul..now he is apeace....unfortunately beocs of a family row many years ago...his father wont go tthe funeral...as he doesnt want to see me...havent spoken to him in 20 years cos of a misunderstanding....i send him cards every year...he still chooses to ignore me...so beit!

Poor Jo my youngest daughter has taken it very badly.....she adored Carl and is friendly with his X girl friend Keryl who had his son Kade 2 years ago....we all knew her long before they got together...infact she is my mate Leigh's youngest daughter.... unfortunatley Carl and Keryl split up after the baby was born...so Kade does not know his daddy....or the traumas that occured when they were together.... now all he needs to know is his daddy is with the angels....

So a shit year so far! lets hope the rest of it is better.....
martin is away in bedofrd for a fewdays seing a sick friend....as usual he treats me like an alien when he is busy...... so i havent spoken to him properly since last friday.....bloody men they are never around when you need them most and I could so do with a huge hug....

thats it for now...

Bye!

2011-04-02T05:50:00.001-07:00

At Last...Hello Everyone

2011-04-02T05:25:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, sorry i have been away so long..i just forget to update you all... Nothing much going on really..... The ''manthing'' Martin comes and goes at will...after all his promises about staying with me forever,he still goes back and forth to London to do his office work.............. His promises to me are shit.....like water off a ducks back.....told him last week i have more patience with him ...than any ohter or would have told him to F off long ago......must be LOVE!! Went to my daughter Michelle's at the end of the summer...up in Ipswich and i have seen my eldest daughter with baby several times...she works so dam hard...it is hard to see her.... Christmas came and went...i spent it in Ipswich and was there for a week.... The snow was heavy here in UK so my daughter sent a taxi to collect me from door to door.... bless her...told her she would get a paper hat and a gold star when she goes to heaven...her reply was....''Right now...i could do with a GOLD Barclay Card mum''!! Martin arrived yet aagain from Australia on the 16th march after 4 months away.... he had surgery on his left ear for a cyst...non malignant thnak God.....I was angry at the time he didnt send for me to look after him....no change there...but the important thing is he is well and OK! had soem bad news last week...my neice 43, has been diagnosed with cancer of thebreast... she has had a biopsy and hopefully it was just a lump they can remove with surgery and take the lymph glands too... and she will make a full recovery without a mastectomy..... My son David...43, has given up the fight for life...has stopped all medication and tests for his HIV+...it si just a matter of time...... I saw him on Thursday of this week...he looks very ill and very frail and very thin....I can only remember him as he was and respect his wishes to die...... Not good news all roudn i am afaid and then man stays away ...just when i coudl do with some support he has PAPERWORK!! That is about all for now....take care and i will try not to leacve it so long next time i write.... Luv 'n' Hugs

What's been going on?

2010-08-09T13:48:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone.....
So sorry i've been off-line for ages................real life and all that just totally forgot all about my blogger pals!

March 2010 i think the last entry to my blog......now it is almost September...so i had better make this read interesting for yas all!

so what has been going on....well SHIT after SHIT after SHIT!!
the last time i wrote my man was home from Australia............. well guess what he returned to oz afteronly 5 weeks here in UK and not with me all the time...funny for a man who claims to love me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.................

Then Mid April...my daughter Jo gets a phone call from Cornwall.............. her dad's 3rd wife only 45 died from complications of diabetes and septacaemia............ Philip went to ID her body and promply had a heart attack................ his house was in such bad repair the medics wouldnt let him go home...so he went inot a care home ...and to my knowledge is still there..... some rumour going around that he has to be out within 10 days or so................Jo-Anne is trying to get him to move to kwent so he is nearer......
Dont want him invading my airspace....the reasons i divorced him were and still are very clear ...tho i think he may have forgotten all that... after 17 years of divorce....

at the end of june I went to stay the weekend with my eldest daughter to see my grandson Joshua.... he is such a bundle of fun...tho hard work when he has a tantrum...just like babies do when they get frustrated... he is amost 22 months old....

we had a mini heatwave here in Uk in June..up into the 30Centigrade............weather is still fien for August warm and very nice not too hot again...thank goodness...hate it when it gets too sticky.... and my feet looked like tree trunks as my feet and legs were so swollen.....the body clock was all up the creak with the man away and my nights turned into days again for a while...consequently i had my feet down when they should have been in bed alseep.....................they soon go down ...once i start having proper sleeps at night.............

at the end of june...Simon my youngest son ...lives in Cornwall and he came up to stay with Jo for 4 days....we all had a day out at Sarah's my 39 yr old who loves about an hour's drive away..... Simon moved to Cornwall with Jo's dad and wife about 16 yrs ago and hadnt been up to visit for a good few years...so it was nice to gte a lot of the family together....Jo and kay were there...my neice Michaela turned up with my great niece of 14 months .... and jeanette and Aldrik came with joshua it was a lovely day...............shoudl do it more often...............

July came and went....over a year now since David my son was critically ill after 3 cardiac arrests.... i have seen him 2 or 3 times for dinner...hjis boyfriend brings him down in a taxi...they live in a small 1st floor flat.. and cannot get out...they live on a hill and no bus route...so David is confined to the flat most of the time...except if he sits on his front step...he is unable to get out...he is is not strong enough to walk the distance to town down the hill and back up.........

4 months on and Martin returned from Australia,,,at the end of July............now dont go asking how long he will stay.............cos i dont know...how long is a piece of string................ he is a very independent man and made it very clear he is not going to commit........................well not yet anyway......14 years and many broken promises of holidays abroad, he'll never leave me ...etc.... down the line nothing changes...my passport is still decorating my handbag..................and a girl still dreams!!

he arrived on the 24th July stayed with me 4 days and then returned to London for 7 days to do paper work and post for his business,,,,,,,,,,came back to me on the 4th for days and left again this arvo for London to do more paperwork and post....reckons he'll be back Thursday but i reckon more like the weekend... he is exhausted .........his MS is substantially slowing him down.....but he wont stop till he drops..........after all my efforts and becos i love him like crazy i still cannot understand the way he ticks..................................oh forgot..................HE IS A MAN!!
dont wish to change him or lose him so got to poke up with him and his tantrums of independence!

so that is about it...i'll will do my utmost best not to leave it so long next time............will post a link in y groups so those that wanna a peak may do so..... take care...sees ya laters!

March 2010....sorry no blog been busy!!

2010-03-03T06:03:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone,
Sorry havent been here in a while....real life and all that stuff!!

Just before Xmas I had my son David with his partner for dinner,
what a hard slog that was..... he was serioulsdy ill back in the summer
of 2009...and since then i think he must be on a death wish...he looked like
a skeleton walking very weak...and hardly said a word in the 2 hours he was
with me...even tho i made all the effort and cooked Xmas dinner for them...
I havent seen him since but keep in touch regular by fone..

Christmas was great...spent it at michelle's in Ipswich, Suffolk.
very cold with snow on the gorund...my daughter and her gf kay
picked me up on boxing day...stayed over and brought me home...
new year did absolutely nothing....as usual....man was in Oz
busy dealing with the Tax man and returned to UK about 2 weeks ago
so even missed out on my 64th birthday at end of January and valentine's day

We had heaps of snow in january with sub-zero temps...soem of UK recorded
minus 18............snow was down for about two weeks....it is now march and
it is warming slightly but still very cold....

I caught a chill at the end of january..having to wait for a bus in the freezing wind....stayed in bed for 2 days...no fever just shivery..and it went straight to my weakest point...MY BACK...so havent been out and about much...

the man arrived here to me on February 15th stayed for 5 days and went back to
London to see to his post...then returned last week for 5 days...returned to do post and is back tomorrow pm.....

i have done no creating with Paint Shop Pro for Incredimail at all in almost 3 weeks ....brain dead i think...havent felt like it...maybe will try and get to it this weekend..... i am moderating part time with one of the groups i am in...boss and friend Fran is going away on vacation so she asked me to keep an eye.............

saw my gorgeous grandson just before xmas ...his mum works full time for Burberry in London.... and her hubbie is dutch so they go over to Holland
to see his family also....they got caught up in the Eurostar in December and
had to remain in Bleguim till the trains were running again....all caught flu...
but are well now and i will be seeing Joshi in 2 weeks time....after Mother's day

My daughter jo-anne has been diagnosed with an ovarian cyst...not too well at all...if it doesnt dispurse she may have to have keyhole surgery to remove it...

when the man is not here with me i tend to go to dinner in the evenings with
Jo and her GF....they live in the same apartments as me in the next block so less than 2 minutes away....nice sometimes and handy...but can be a pain in the A soemtimes when i want peace and quiet....

had the plumber intoday for a faulty tap...had no cold water since friday and was told i could use the bathroom water to drink...yuk....so Man bought bottled spring water all over weekend....

so that is about all my news.... not doing much today but will be up early tomorrow....hoover bag split on me at weekend.... no new ones in shops so had to order by post and cant hoover up...so have a layer of dust all around the aprsatment...YUK!! Big Tidy up...............!!

OK peeps please forgive the silence will try and make up for it soon!
Take care till next time....
Sees ya'all soon!!
Carolyn x

It's nearly Christmas

2009-12-17T08:22:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone,

havent been here for a while...so thought i should do a quick update and wish everyone a happy Christmas...

Not much happening here right now...except the weather is getting real cold in UK...snow on its way....i have been a bit lazy and not wanting to go out and freeze my boobs off i even did my shopping on line and had ti deleivered by local supermarket right to my kitchen....

Martin the man went back to Oz last month...........no doubt he'll be away for Christmas even tho he says he has a surprise for me...the earth would freeze over before he came to UK for Christmas and i would die of shock...dotn liek him being away ...not once has he stayed for xmas in the last 13 years that we have been together...i dotn like it...but poke up with it as i love him and he does have his kids in Oz....

My daughter Michelle, 36... in Ipswich, Suffolk puts on a big spread for Christmas and gets all excited before the event...just like a big kid...gets all excited as soon as the shops put up the decos...I will be spending Xmas with her...and be thoroughly spoilt...i leave here on Xmas Eve and come home on the 27th.... that ofcourse depends on not being snowed in before then!!

like to wish all the visitors to my blog a happy and peaceful Xmas.....

i don't like this time of year....and i hate New year even more.....reminds me of all the people i knew that cant be here ...maybe becos they have died...or just too far away to bother.......................Too commercialised...no one, or not many seems to celebrate the reason we have Christmas...the birth of a tiny baby 2000 years ago!

see you all in the New year!!

Long Time no Here!

2009-11-03T14:34:00.000-08:00

So sorry everyone,
been so busy....real life etc!
hope you are all well, those that read my blog....feel free to leave a little note to say you've caught up with all my news!
can't remember hwo long ago i last wrote...that long!!
Will try and fill you in as i go along.........

My son david who had the cardiac arrests made a significant enough recovery after he woke from the life support to be discharged within 2 weeks..... he wanted to comehoem to me but i refused...........too long a story but i didnt want th respeonsibility of him 24 x 7's....been there and di it 10 year ago....never again! So he went hom to his partner, much to everyone's disgust....social Services were going to rehouse him but backed off at the last moment!

Unfortunately his partner got snotty with me and wont allow me to visit David...so i havent seen him for ages.... tho i saw him very briefly 2 weeks ago... he is very frail...and cannot get out as he lives in upstairs apartment on a hill...with no buses...so the only excercise he gets is hobbling down stairs and stting on the front garden wall................the home visiting district nurse checks him regularly for his blood pressure and ECG................

end of August my daughter Michelle held a party for my son Ian who was returning to europe to teach...it was a lovely weekend...warm too so most of the time we spent in the garden........kayleigh and jo took me in the car to Ipswich....where Michelle lives with her husband and family

now to a more cheerie note...... hummm!!
first off i fell over at the middle of September had a couple of bruised knees...then a week later....after shock i think, (old injury from the 60's) my back went and i was in agony for 5/6 days being unable to go and see Sir Cliff richard in Concert live with The shadfows broke my heart...as it will probably be the last of the concerts for all of them as they are in their 70's now.............anyway i will have to console myself with the DVd that coems out next week....
My daughter jo went instead and said the concert was absolutely awesome and cliff danced all three hours long on stage.....................fit eh at 70!!

the day after was absolutely great as my man Martin arrived back from Australia and we spent a wonderful 5 days together before he disappeared to shuffle papers in London as usual.......all his promises he made before leaving Oz flew out the window!! still what can we expect eh girls...he's a MAN!!

on october the 17th Martin accompanied me to London to celebrate my grandson Joshua's first birthday.... the man doesnt do celebrations...well not with me...so i was very happy and surprised that he came along...and i think the girls were surprised to see him too...we actually managed to get a photo together...the first in 13 years ......The 4 girls were present.........my son Ian has returned to Europe for an undetermined time to teach students English so he wasn't there.....it was a lovely afternoon...and Joshua's other grandparents flew in from Holland to be there.... i have since learnt from his mum, joshua is walking .......eyes and ears in the back of her head now she'll need!!

the weather is now changing in UK...we had an indian Summer this year and it was very warm uptil this last weekend...the last few days have been damp and cold.............

Time is now 11pm here so i will on that note say goodnight till next time and tery not to leave it so long.....i updated the pics of my stats last month still have more to add...enjoy!!

Hello Stranger !!

2009-08-09T11:03:00.000-07:00

Well hello everyone,

Sorry its been such a long time....real life and all that stuff!
Rushing back and forth to the hospital to see David while he was so ill was very nerve racking and took its toll on my nerves....just sitting watching him...to see if he would wake up........for 3 weeks he didnt move .......then all of a sudden he opened his eyes....and WHAM BAM he has improved so much...the medics are getting ready to discharge him very soon!

I reckon David has more lives than a cat and the skin of a rhino... he had more tubes in holes than i didnt know existed ......and if there wasnt a hole...you can bet your bottom dollar the docs made one...

David had a temporary tracheostomy so he wouldn't get more infection .... had had septicaemia, renal and liver failure...and 2 cardiac arrests... he had so much going on...the docs didnt want to risk or aggravate him..... He is now off life support and breathing unaided....his blood levels are nearly back to normal and he seems to be doing good......since he has had the trache removed about 2 weeks ago... he is making progress, and is even walking around slowly.....

Thank God he doesnt remember much about the first few weeks...... his Auntie Lynda came to see him... his dad's sister and an old friend of his Luke who i found on facebook.... came to see him.....

I certainly found out who my friends are in times of crisis......people i have known for years havent bothered to call me up except for one person...Marian..... w

I worked with Marian ....more than 40 yrs ago and she knows all my family..and i hers... she has phoned continually to ask about David...... and told me i could call her up any time day or night..........!

People i dont even know properly from all over the world in my Yahoo groups have been praying and asking continually..... yet others who i thought were friends havent bothered to call me at all............... i have had to call them.......surprise surprise......... i wont be doing them any favours from now on!

besides that life is slowly going along....manthing is still away In Australia but should be back any day......I will be so glad when he gets back i havent had time to think whether ive been on my head or my tail these last few weeks.......and I NEED A HUG and all the other pleasures that go with HUGS!! I know he needs lots of TLC too had huge business worries...hopefully that is soon sorted and he will be here........

In between all that i have kept myself busy and occupied creating.......its theonly thing that has stopped me going stir crazy.......................

The latest news from the hospital is medics want to discharge David home to me.... i have refused big time...definitely a NO NO!! I love my son....... I dont want and will not take responsibility for him 24 x 7's at my age......been there and done that 10 years ago!!

As soon as David is fit again he will be back on the Cocaine and grog which inturn gave him the traumatic illness in the first place..................so it will go on and on till the next crisis................

So peeps until the next time....back to the drawing board and PSP!! BFN !!

2009-07-09T07:32:00.000-07:00

well i have not been here for a while...so busy...too much going on and creating.....

life is very hectic right now and i have a real emergency ......and am very worried so i have signed out of my Paint Shop groups for a while as creating is impossible at the moment....

my eldest son David, 41, is critically ill in hospital........ he's had HIV+ for 25 years and last week took a turn for the worst and over the weekend had a massive cardiac arrest....he is now on a ventilator with many complications including renal failure, brain atrophy, fitting continually,low sodium and potassium, and platelets...he is receiving dialysis ....

last night the surgeons performed a tracheotomy to help him breathe as he is unable on his own...tho he was tubed ...this can cause infection so the trache is an alternative......
Jo is beign a brick and with me most of th time...i am exhausted so not at the hospital today.... i need to catch up on sleeep and while he is holding his own i am having a break for a few hours....

Two of his other sisters , one older and one younger have also been to see him
...so we are just takin g oen step at a time right now.....

maybe i am being very selfish in not wanting him to recover ...may God forgive me.....I have asked the doctors not to resussitate him if neccesary...................he would be at peace then...... it looks like he has full blown AIDS so if he does recover...it will only be till the next crisis.....
i know you will all pray for his general health.....and the family...thank you!

till next time

WooHoo...Summer's Coming in UK!!

2009-06-11T07:58:00.000-07:00

Well, nothing much to report really...so this will be a short note this time around!
the weather has warmed up a little so it looks like summer is on its way...so it should be...it is sopposed to be flaming June!!

the man still up to his tricks, but we had a long talk and we seem to be going along alright till the next hiccup or tantrum he pulls!

he has asked jo-Anne to decorate the bathroom and bedroom for me.....like asking her to fly to the moon...she will no doubt do it when she is good and read as he will pay her so all extra cash!

My daughter michelle 36, had a minor op last week for a 3rd tonsil growing on her tongue...docs did a biopsy just to be safe...things seem to have gone OK.....

My eldest daughter is back at work after 6 months maternity leave...so with an under one year old and working 4 days a week life is hectic for her....

Yesterday Iremember dear Kevin my lovely gay friend who died 3 years ago...it was his birthday 10th June....i think he would have been 50... and I loved him dearly.... I surely miss him so much every day!

well folks that's about all ....take care until next time!

2009-05-16T09:55:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
i am so upset right now... i cant create much and have been on no mail in my groups ...though i did sign back in today.......i cant think...everything i eat ....leaves me feeling sick..... i hit the bottle thursday evening and got very drunk..................now i have to try and sort my life out.....Huh easier said than doen....when you have a man who has ruled your life for 13 years and is not only in your heart but in your head too...... maybe i need another professional to help me get him out of it....i dotn think i can do it on my own..........................

Martin was here last wekk and i thought we had spent a lovely time together and assumed he went off to London to do paper work and would be back...no such luck...more half his i think!!

i wotn bore you all my telling you the saga...cos some of you know it already....and i know its my own stupid fault...but you still cant help who you love..... many of you are there for me including my kids, some of you understand ...some of you dotn... i dont expect all of you to.....but i do appreciate your friendship and being there for me to moan and groan and to support ...thank you!

suffice to say after 13 years of being together...near and far.... soemtimes together under the same roof...martin in his wisdom...has decided he doesnt wish me to love him any more and only wants to be friends!! reckons there could be some benefits

...ha....like to know what.....the odd prezzies now and then....when he is all loved up he is fantastic......all his promises go straight out the window and the trips he has promised never coem to anything ...my passport sitll decorates my handbag!!

its alright for him to speak his mind and say what he likes but as soon as i want to chip in my 6 pence worth he isnt interested and shuts me out...now wont even talk to me or see me until he is convinced i can only treat him as a friend and expects me to forget all the good times we have shared....and now wants me to be his friend.....maybe just bed and shag him occasionally with TLC..... excuse the language!! i cant use people like that...or pretend i dotn love someone when i do...... i was taught unconditional love as a child...............

after 40+ years of dealing with men... i should know them and be able to get it right....but I cannot..... all the good nice ones are either GAY or married.........and i thought i'd choose brains before balls when i met martin...how wrong was I?

i have decided they live on another planet most of the times... most of them are ''Fuckwits'', only have one thing on their minds most of the time...and dotn always get that right........

.we dotn know them at all, and they only tell us to do what they want us to know.....my dear mother was right....God bless her.....!! ''men have a set of rules all for themselves.....''dont do what i do...do what i tell you...I am God!''

enough said... i am driving myself crazy!!

ennjoy your weekend....talk again soon!

WooHoo.....Man is back!!

2009-05-08T09:04:00.001-07:00

yep....as you can see by my title....the ''manthing'' is back in UK and here with me right now!!

he arrived here 24 hrs early on tuesday 5th may at 3pm totally exhausted and very jet-lagged...so wea are doing nothing for a few days except eating and making Whoopee!!

I wont add to that ...cos i never know how long he is staying and where........just enjoying our time together............!!!!!

Since I last wrote my neice has given birth to ababy girl...her first baby and has called her Eden...... which i think is a lovely name and cannot be shortened to much to anything really....she weighs 6lb and has a mop of black hair! and is adorable! i have only seen a phot but as soon as my niece feels well enough will go visit and have cuddle!!

the weather here in UK is so unpredictable...it was beautifully warm last week everyone in t shirts and shorts...this week...chilly...isnt the word!!

My Jo has the ''man-flu'' so is out of bounds here with me for a few days ....i dont want it and nor does anyone else thank you very much!

anyway Peeps gotttsa go....not a lot of news........take care and see you all next time!

Boring...boring!!

2009-04-29T12:32:00.000-07:00

Hmmm.... and i thought i had so much to say i could be here every day
...not so .... i reckon at 63 i am definitely going ga-ga!!

I staggered over to the docs last week and she told me I was bruised......i hadnt fallen, or tripped or twisted anything...so i can only assume she was off her trolley as she didnt even bother to examine me.....

I think I have had some kind of bug the last week and i thought it was my back trouble ... i had a continuous headache.....as i was in so much pain i could hardly move......had to almost crawl to the toilet and then the pain went into my neck for over 24 hrs...... i stayed in bed for almost 4 days ...just getting up to check my emails , use the bathroom and eat.............one day i slept almost all day got up at 1opm, thought it was morning............till i realised it was dark...thought it was the next day..............stayed up for 3 hours then went back to bed....................

yesterday was the first day i felt better...even though i was confused at what day it was...thinking it was Thursdsay when only Tuesday........ still needed to get out to some fresh air....so i was on the mend...

seems Jo's GF has decided to shake my hand and we are now talking...so peace has been restored.......they even went shopping for me this week as i couldnt get out.................

today i got dressed and went to town......well now ..its time to laugh........i got on the local bus which stops outside my block to go to town about 4 stops away and 10 minute walk... i usually walk...but thought i would use the bus today....after beign on the bus 30 secons and pulling into the next stop... i realised the supermarket i wanted was across the road..... i needed to get off the bus and not go all the way into town..................the driver must have thought i was nutz!!

dotn know about you guys, but i definitely dotn like this ''getting older''...the only good thing about it is...... not having to apologise to anyone, not needing their permisssion to do anything....and if Ido.. I do not need to explain....cos I am ga-ga....so cant possibly help it!!

the man is driving me NUTZ at the moment...still away in Oz but phoned at 1.am last night and says he shoudl be done and back in UK within 2 weeks if not earlier......and would i agree to his plans............

then in the next breath says he cannot possibly be with me permanently as he will be travelling every 3/4 months for up to 6 weeks.......but at least i will know where he is!!

with that i screamed at him and told him NO i wouldnt agree to his plan... i thought after 13 years I deserved more and thought we both wished for a permanent relationship.....not the same as we have been doing................

i received an email from him at 4 a.m today saying ......wait for it...................I WASNT VERY FLEXIBLE...maybe it was OUR AGES...and he would haveto rethink the plan!!

so that has been so my exciting life for the last few weeks plus of course i have done some wonderful new creations and some by tutorials which you will find on the site.... i am being very cautious and leaving only by invite.....so sorry...but i really dotn need the kind of trouble i had with Miss K again!

till next time!

That gay woman!

2009-04-02T13:03:00.000-07:00

Well i dotn believe what has happened...!!

the person i moaned about yesterday has written to the creator of my blog design Pamela and aksed how she can have my site closed down due to data protection and not having her permission to show pics etc of her.....

first she is a liar........ as she knew about the site as was in my lounge with my daughter when i showed her i had updated the design...also saw the pic i had created for my Incredimail designs ...and lastly she knew what i thought about her weight as i called both girls to their fsaces the last of the BIG RED HOT MAMAS and that i would end up like chips if i ever pciked a fight witheither of them!!

secondly she wasnt invited to read my blog since i showed them both the update ...just told them where it was and the name...........perhaps she has a guilty conscience.......

anyway Pamela has decided as it was personal not to reply to her e mail...and is RF LAO!!

ah wiser now...you can only read it by invite sorry!!

I am frothing at the mouth with anger now!! leaving poor Jo stuck in the middle as K is her GF!! I have told Jo i dotn want anymore to do with K, and if they are invited to anything to do with family where i go... i will either not go, or walk out when they walk in!

HUH!! What a mess!

2009-04-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

Whoops i upset my daughter's GF kay bigtime by writing my blog and realising she has access to it, so now i have to go by invite only sorry about that...it means unless you are on my list you cant read my blog..unless i let you have my P/W and user word.......

i am on a high today ''manthing'' called last night again from Oz and told me he loved me and that we will be together very soon..... he has his return ticket already which he rarely buys in the UK but did this time....so i reckon he is serious now!!

talk later!

Bloody Kids .............eh!!

2009-03-31T12:39:00.000-07:00

Well i never thought i'd see the day i would fall out with one of my children's partners but i have...big time!

it all began around 10 days ago when i lent Jo and K £20 ($40.US) to pay direct from my bank to E bay for a DVD...Fine! I thought..... no problem they will give me the money...................yeh OK in my dreams!! How wrong could I be.................!

the girfriend who holds the purse strings decided not to give me the money till she sees the goods first........................so i am not happy! Told her exactly what i thought to the point i felt like slapping her...but at 300 lbs she would have made chips out of me so didnt bother!! She was not impressed either!

Totop it over the weekend madam decided to have her rellies stay over night..... making all together 5 in a 1 bd apartment, so Jo virtually got kicked out of her own apartment to let others sleep in her place.....

anyway being the good hearted person i usually am i tried to make the peace with Kayleigh...not for her sake but for Jo's...she wasnt interested...and started carrying on about the way i spoke to her in front of her pals...... so i told her to go F.....!!

anyway Ive learnt my lesson wont be lending them money again EVER!

been real bust with my PSP and doing loads of tutorials this week to take my mind of th manthing being away.................dear Kimmi reckons good job i am not with him in Oz otherweise i would be 1000% distraction to him and he'd never get any work doen... and she could be right......

Anyway things are on the up, he had his good , kind, loving head on last night even tho it was gone midnight when he called,,,and again at 4.30 a.m ...full of loving words and saying it looked like it would be inevitable that we will eventually be together soon properly...and that his work out in Oz is going good and he will get back to me as fast as possible....so not much sleep for me last night at all...just 4 hrs this morning..... woth the loss of sleep i thought...bless!

WOW what a weekend I had!

2009-03-23T16:16:00.000-07:00

The weekend was a blast!
Jo-Anne found some of her family on Facebook.....
Saturday I went out with Jo-anne and Kayleigh......started off slow.... messing around looking for stuff.....I think i am getting impatient as i get older and hate being kept waiting very long....

.Kayleigh borrowed her brother Ricky's car and we went to Croydon....arriving at 2pm we met up with Nick and Pam again after 10 years...... Nick's twin brother Anthony and his girl friend Rita were there also....we also saw Pam's 3 children, Amanda, 14 and Billy 12, from her previous relationship and Rebecca 8 from her marriage to Nick.

Nick and Anthony are Jo-Anne's twin brothers from a previous relationship of her father's, they are 32. I had not seen any of the family since my divorce to Jo's dad in 1993.....Jo went to live with her dad in Cornwall for a while when she was younger, realised the grass was not so greener and came home again......we lost contact with most of her paternal family........and various members of the family have since died including her Aunt Denise along with her husband Ernie...

Pam and Nick put on a great spread of salad, pasta, chicken, crisps, and lots of sarnies.........it was a very emotionqal time for Jo and there were a few tears.......... i was thrilled to see Pam after such a long time we had been great friends many years ago.....she had not changed one bit...and i had a thoroughly enjoyable day....while we were there Pam's younger brother Simon popped in for a few hours with his girlfriend Julie.

During the afgternoon we all remember past days of the family fun, and Jo-Anne found her brother Simon on facebook........Simon , 31,has learning difficulties and originally moved down to cornwall in 1997.... he is still there and we have only had contact with him once.....in all that time......so it wa s great surprise to me when i managed to speak to him on the phone that afternoon.........that was a perfect end to a perfect day.

we all had a great afternoon and promised to stay in touch and see each other again soon....we left Croydon around 7.15pm and arrived home around 8.15pm totally exhausted.

Sunday was mother's day in the UK and i must admit i was thoroughly spoilt by my children, well most of them.............Michelle sent me some money to have a spend............Jo-Anne and Kayleigh bought lunch, gave me some money and a book that i wanted, treated me to a Chinese meal in the evening and my other children also phoned me......
so my weekend was PERFECT!

Unfortunately we had bad news this evening...............Anthony telephoned Jo-Anne to say his mother Linda died early this morning........................Linda was her father's first wife, and father of the twins...she was only 50......................Jo and i had the terrible pleasure of breaking the tragic news to her father tonight.... he was devastated.....

My ''manthing'' surfaced from Melbourne, Australia and called me last night, totally exhausted with jetlag after his journey .... he had only been back in england 6 weeks and is not in the best of health as some of the readers know......so this extra journey for business emergency has taken its toll....hopefully he wont be there too long and we can get back to our life together again....he says he'll only be around 4/6 weeks....but anything could happen between now and then so i wont dwell on that.....................................

I am totally exhausted after getting up early today and having blood tests after starving for 18 hours.......so i am having an early night i think..........well its almost midnight, ''manthing'' is supposed to call me, he is 10 hours ahead of UK......but i reckon i may yet....give that one a miss tonight and turn in!

till next time!! Cheers!!

Ive been away LOL!!......and.......''manthing'' has flown to Oz!

2009-03-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

Yep i have just had 4 days with a pal in Stevenage Herts.....known Leigh for over 20 years....my mate... has been fighting cancer on and off since '88 when she had Hodgkins Disease for them that dont know that is Cancer of the Lymph Glands ...she is still fighting it today with cervical cell cancer and only 50 such a brave lady!

the added bonus of my visit was being able to see my great nephew, Leigh's daughter had a relationship with my nephew and 19 months ago had a son Cade...........he is just gorgeous....the baby I mean!

next the bad news and a moan.....BLOODY MEN.... I TOLD YOU HE WAS GOING AWAY.on business.......he delayed it by a week and this morning took off for Oz yet again without me.............doubt he'll phone for a few days wont get there till thursdday night, then will be jet lagged so could be over weekend or next week before he calls..............

Sly .... I reckon!!..... maybe he thought while i was away for a few days i wouldnt get upset..............ha well you know me.............I am upset and devastated as i always am when he leaves...even when he goes to London for work for a few days.......this time he will be goen for a month or more....he says only a few weeks...then after 13 years i know his few weeks...it could be 6 months!! so here i am hoping it wont be....and wondering why the Fuck he is so ashamed to show me off to his Aussie pals that he never takes me with him........

extra worry to add salt to the wound....Melbourne City had another earth tremor yesterday 4.5 richter scale...could lead to a major earthquake......god I hope not..... his daughter already lost friends in the fires in melbourne last month

After 13 years i should be used to it...but dotn mean i like it any the better!! he knows i just poke up with it becos i live him and I AM ALWAYS here for him! and ofcourse he also knows I love him to bits, and he loves me albeit differently to his love..... i just wonder whether we will ever be a couple together......? same old story sorry to be boring you!!

anyway I'd better get my act together and do soem psp...havent doen anything in around 3 weeks except a few odd pics........................

going out saturday with jo-Anne to see her brothers and cousins she hasnt seen in 10 years almost....then next week going to see my grandson at long last......been putting it off cos of cold weather and man being around......no excuse now......sun is out and he's away!!

talk again soon.....please leave reply on chat box if you like.so i know you been here...cheers!!

Friday...........TGIF.....POET'S Day!!

2009-03-13T08:21:00.000-07:00

Thank God it's Friday......Yep that's right, POET'S day for those that don't know.... it means to all who work............Piss Off Early...Tomorrow's Saturday!
MMMM!!!! My ''manthing'' arrived Sunday dinner time...and to go this arvo......yuk.....weekend...hate it without him................well hate anytime without him!! had a wonderful 4 days and 5 nights so mustn't grumble...........................me i never wish the time i spend with Martin to end.......................

Tomorrow was supposed to be going out with jo and kayleigh to see nick and Anthony and pamela in Croydon....rellies from her dad's side! cant go cos K's car isnt going good!

Modnay seeing Jeanette, my adorable grandsonJoshua and his dad Aldrik...havent seen them for 3 months....so really looking forward to that.

Could be staying overnight and hopefully meeting up with Martin if he has finished his work by Tuesday or Wednesday at Victoria Station to return back to Chatham together........

Otherwise nothing exciting going on here in my world...gottta get head into gear and do soem creating with PSP.....had a lazy two weeks while martin has been here and haven#t been in the mood for working..........well would you guys, if you had a better offer...to blob with the man!!

Tuesday.......................life goes on!

2009-03-03T08:43:00.000-08:00

WOW!! what a week I have just had..... 7 days and 7 nights with my ''manthing''! he phoned to say he wouldnt be here for a few days as he was real busy.....then he rung again to say when he did eventually arrive he would stay week if i didnt mind............................Mind..................? now why would i mind when i have been in heaven for 7 days and nights with HIM!!

Wont bore you with the details or info.....suffice to say I have had a wonderful week....and now it has ended for a while.......till the next time!! i am greedy concerning the manthing..........not dissatisfied with his company , his love, or his sex, or anything about him..............I JUST WANT MORE OF HIM...................in any way I can or am allowed! if that is greedy that is tough! Tough for me........not HIM.............cos i have to wait!!

tried calling his bluff this arvo after he left at 1.15pm in a taxi...he always said i could have him when i wanted him.......ha!! when it is convenient to him....i think he meant..............sent him a text on the mobile while he was in the taxi going to London and said....''I want you now...love you!'' he replied ''ditto!'' so i asked him to cancel today and return to me...and he refused saying i would have to wait...see me soon! Drat and Blast!!

so now i am writing this wishing...hoping.......................... and not knowing when or if he will be back by this weekend or not!

we have had a lovely week i think....a few hiccups along the way.............but mostly pleasure and pure relaxation....and US......all alone!

Wednesday he bought me a new computer chair which is being delivered soon....friday he took me shopping for lingerie and new clothes........all in between he took me every day to brunch at our local up market Cafe...........Harringtons.............................i cooked several days other days we ate take away Indian, Thai or Chinese................. 3 afternoons from Saturday morning till this morning we just blobbed indoors after lunch and retired and relaxed with each other..............fantastic!

I hope he has felt as happy , loved and relaxed with me,as i have with him.................................!

i do love this man so much....i just wish he would commit in some way...so he could be here always................is that so much to ask.................apparently it is YES!
my question is WHY is it so hard for him to completely relax or commit.....................either becos he doesnt wish to, is unable to, or doesnt know how to, or its inconvenient for him to do any of it.............it isnt business, he cannot buy me, and he doesnt own me.... i am not his property...........I am the woman who loves him unconditionally......and all i ask is the same in return and i will love him and cherish him till the day we die...............................

i am not asking for a wedding ring, or his money or his property, just HIM.....my manthing to be with me always.............everyday 24 x 7's till whenever he doesnt wish it! is that so bad for a woman to want and love and need her man...............i always write this on his e mail.................

dont want you becos i need you,
I need you becos I love you.................................

now i am confused! maybe one of my readers has ro will have or may have the answa or a solution to my problem!! and i know some of the answers already................DUMP HIM!!

YEH!! No-one elses business I know!!

My answer is NO......definitely NEVER!! One way or another.. we need to work it out................I will love him always and forever!

time is 5.55pm no doubt manthing will be texting or calling to say he is having an early night....bed at 7pm............sort out his work schedule ...for tomorrow.....but he has also ..gotta recharge his batteries after being exhausted by me this week!! ........ha-ha!!

Bree............... light a candle

2009-02-22T09:36:00.000-08:00

one of my ladies BREE passed away on the 17th february... i was and am a member of her group Classy-n-Sassy

it is with a sad heart i write today..pleasae light a candle for Bree....miss you GF.....

http://www.lightacandle.li/candles/widget.js

2009-02-18T08:19:00.000-08:00

well at last i have my photobucket a/c up and running now i can dd my pictures of art and psp with IM onto it........added around 30 pics for anyone who wishes to look here is the link

http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a345/carolyn58/

Have had a lovely heavenly 4 days with my man ..........didn't want him to go ...but needs must, i suppose when the devil drives......work being the operative word...tho he says he only has papers to shuffle and could be back friday pm instead of saturday................... I do love my man to bits I just wish we could be together properly....................oh well....maybe one day till then a girl can dream!! he treats me like a queen and says he will do anything for me within reason.............to which i replied.......''why do you need a reason..........if you love someone.... i would do anything for you if it si humanly possible!''............- - - - -............came the reply!!

the nephew has been at it again....being such a big man picking on his girlfriend........Oh i could cheerfully slap him and would if i was a tougher and younger person.................all you get from him is........my dad did this and that and that is why i am like i am..................

well kids dont have a choice when they are growing up about how they are treated....adults do and i am sure if I had grown up in a violent world of parents screaming and fighting....i sure as hell would try and make sure none of my kids dont! anyway Carl lost his temper with his girlfriend over the weekend...knocked all her windows out in the flat, smashed her car windscreen...punched her to the ground and ran off.............. he is now wanted by the police for aggravated assault...hoep they throw away the key........and he wanted me to calm my neice down about him taking drugs and his bad temper..........well i dotn think so...........

ouch !.......the phone's ringing...............''.ah love him...''.......the manthing phoned to say he was back in london......having a fish supper from Marks and Sparks and going to bed early.........................his early around 7pm no doubt!....gottta recharge his batteries before he returns to me at the weekend!

told you he wasnt all bad!! That's the man for you, his bad points are far outweighed by his good!!

I miss him already and he's only been gone 3 hours!

talk laters!

Kids!!

2009-02-16T07:16:00.001-08:00

Kids....dotn get me wrong i love mine to bits...but sometimes they piss you right off!! what was it soemone said....the first half of your life is ruined by your parents...the second half is ruined by your kids!! Sure sounds right to me most of the time!!

Jo gone off in a strop cos she and her GF have run out of cash and i wont lend them any!! I have to manage on my state pension...andthere is one of me.....up till 7 weeks ago her girlfriend was working.......JO has never worked since she left school...except for an occasional P/T..........so there was one of Jo borrowing left right and centre off me....using the phone and i was getting horrific phone bill of £300 a quarter + £100 mobile bills a month............NEVER NO MORE!!

No i am very careful with my money i have to be so why cant they be.....M is very good while he is here, treats me like a Queen and gives me extra for heating shopping etc....................doesnt agree with me lending them money either.... i rarely run out.......occasionally I smoke heavily if i am stressed, but go without if i have to!............................................. Tonight i am definitely stressed, so i am getting R..A....d!!

now i have two of them on my back.....................wotn sepak to me for a while i dotn suppose...................so most of the time i do it behind M's back.......which i dont like....anyway I just refused to do it today and they both went off screaming at me...........i mean they both have enough body weight to feed themselves and dotn look hungry!! only thing is.....makes me feel guilty..........''you're my mum, and supoposed to help...now i got to put my mobile and X box in Cash's....................F' SHAME JO get a life....and let me have one too.............PLZ!!

WooHoo!! Valentine's Day!!

2009-02-16T06:53:00.000-08:00

Well to say the least...valentine's evening was worht the wait and weight in GOLD!!

M did not turn up early, pushed himself with working....to the last moment and arrived here exhausted with train delays around 4.45pm Saturday.......................

I had cooked roast lamb, veg etc ...washed down with wine, wine , cuddles and more cuddles..........too much info.....just to say i had a fabulous time..................................
Sunday was spent blobbing and doing the same..............no complaints at all...............................why cant every day be siomilar and rtun so smoothly without hiccups, work, arguements...................

My daughter Michelle, hit it on the head when i asked her if she had a nice Valentine's day relaxing............. her answer to that was ''you can relax when your dead mum, and too much is boring, boring!! and we dont celebrate valentine's day cos every day is special to us together!!

we we certainly werent bored, where it was the chemistry, the wine, the sex, the romance or just the fact we cant keep our hands off each other when we are together....answers to me we should be together more often..................................whether my man would agree to that I dont know.............................!! All I know is he is a wonderful lover when we are together!

need I say more.....I dotn think so!

Men they live on another planet........MARS!

2009-02-11T05:24:00.000-08:00

well another weekend been and gone, man arrived sunday PM...gone this arvo.Wednesday)...arent i lucky 48 hrs.of bliss..............and he's gone till Saturday, mentioned soemthing about being back for maybe Friday or Saturday as is Valentine's day......so we'll see..........if it happens it'll be a 2nd in 13 years.................for some reason i have yet to work out....my ''manthing'' doesnt like or wish to be part of any personal celebrations!!

just as i think i may be getting somewhere, he either changes the subject very conveniently or switches off................................ i try so hard to please him..I think i give him as much attention, affection and love that he wishes, sometimes more...........so ........ i don't think I ask too much of him, after 13 years to be part of my life too........as he says he comes to the UK just for me............... they live on anotehr planet I think!

keeps telling me my every wish will come true...............i always retort........''which century will that be?'' I think men make it very difficult for us females to please them......expecially when they/mine is not here enough to fulfil his every wish.................if i could i would............and he knows it................! what was it he said when he walked in on Sunday..............we can please ourselves and decide when I need to go back to london................ah..............I will never dictate and could never dictate to him...........what he has to do..................i'd like to give him choices but he is his own person....and never gives me the chance!

my choice would him be around me always....which he says is what he wants.......but when push coems to shove....he always backs off!
my moaan for the week.........

gottta go with jo to docs later today for her blood results........... she has put on an enormopus amount of weight since giving up drugs and we have diabetes in the family................so she needs to really diet and get herself back into shape............she is now heavy at240 lbs!! last of the 2 big red hot mamas....her and Kayleigh..................

then there is my nephew Carl he's about 30, i havent seen him for many years

.....two years ago he visited, and spent the time with us very enjoyably except that he smoked cocaine, ok fine if that is his thing...i had a quick puff of it....did nothing for me...stick to my wacky backy................but when it makes him scratchy and bad temepered and it affects other people, that is where i find i need to voice my opinion, wanted or not.................I told my neice......since then Carl hasnt spoken to me and infact sent a message recently to ask me how i was going to put things right between him and his cousin........................well excuse me........I am a big girl now........i dotn need his permission for anything and especially if i wish to object to what he does and if he has a guilt trip about it and doesnt want me to know.... he shouldnt have done it in front me......................

kids...anyone..........seems its alright to share the good stuff when they are on a high...but i am nnot good enough to share the not so good...................................

i am more interested in his baby son Cade, who was born after a relationship with my best mate Leigh's daughter........ Keryl..22,.............................and i am certainly not going to stop talking to the family or anyone just cos Sir Carl doesnt like it.......................if he cant control his mouth or temper that is not my problem....................my concern is that he doesnt harm his baby or girlfriend when he loses it! and Leigh would expect the same from me or vice versa....so tough on Carl!

so i had better do some work today....creations with my PSP!!

"Men....Dont they just piss you off?"

2009-02-06T07:13:00.000-08:00

Yep, you could say i am very pissed off with the Man thing just now...... he returned to London Tuesday PM and was supposed to be here today..... as usual Work gets in the way, also his godson calls and he bites!

Not that he shouldnt have a life ....I wish just for once, when he has said something and made arrangements he would stick to it.....went out bought the joint of lamb, wine and veg....just to leave it in the fridge........

so ofcourse i lost it with him last night and put the phone down on him...............he is supposed to call today...as yet...its gone 3.15 pm and nothing yet!!

All i wish is to be with him always...do you think I can get it through to him that I love him that much and more... I am a very insacious person when it comes to love.and this Man... I give him my all and more................why cant the men do the same?

He is always saying he came back here to be with me..........yeh OK....one day in the future...............M tells me my dreams will all come true.........i am always asking him which century that will be!

anyway that's enough moaning from me today....... soon as he calls, he knows I 'll be there for him and melt at the sound of his voice!

have a great weekend!

It's my 63rd birthday......SNOW hits UK bigtime!!

2009-02-03T16:37:00.000-08:00

well, anyone would think we've never had snow!! Almost all UK came to a grinding halt with a few inches of snow Sunday night!!
i remember 40 years ago walking to work in 6/7 inches of the dam stuff and it staying down with icy conditions for 3 months!! 3 months peeps not 2 days...............we all just got on with it, survived and carried on.................. these days the big woosies cant handle it!

the joke being the kids of today say they have it easy, cos us oldies have nought but a boring life , and they have tv, computers, jet planes, computer games and x boxes...etc, etc.... and drugs ofcourse! well you arrogant lot .....all us oldies didnt have much....we invented it all...so what you lot gonna invent for the next generation?????

I have spent a lovely week last with my man arriving tuesday 2pm from Australia, so we been all loved up!! It was my birthday friday 30th, martin bought me a Nike hoodie and took me out to dinner in the evening at the local Indian gourmet...

http://cocodiner.tonysebastian.co.uk/

i enjoyed it as it was a far cry from the indian curry!!

My 3 eldest daughters clubbed together and brought me 2 tickets to see Cliff Richard and the Last Reunion concert with the Shadows at the O2 Arena in the Millenium dome next september.....just 30 minutes ride on the train away from Chatham....

Martin will escort me if he is still here in UK..if not i am sure Jo-Anne will come with me ...as she did to the last concert he was unavailable to take me to in Hyde Park, London, a few years ago....Jo Huffed and puffed all day about it, as it was a very hot July day...once we arrived and the music began, it was a different story, she wasup in the aisles singing and dancing to cliff's music! I have been very lucky and seen sir cliff 4 times so far, 3 times at wembley, once in hyde park...... us OAPs don't scrub up too badly do we?

saturday was a day well spent with my friend in Stevenage, Leigh who i have known for over 20 years....this was my birthday present from Jo-Anne and her GF Kayleigh....Martin opted out of an all girlie dayout and stayed behind.............. resting...................i would have loved him to coem along...just so we could be a ''couple together '' for a change....when we are out and about he refers to me as his WIFE!! After 13 years of togetherness, we rarely do stuff together except eat,sleep and get loved up ! My friends and family wonder why...........besides beign told it is nothing to do with them...............it would be good just once to be able to tell them Martin and I are more than just 'together'!!

anyway He has returned to London for 48 hrs or so, i thought i should raise my ugly head and do soemthing useful!! hopeyou all like the new blog outlay...take a look around......... i am hoping to get soem of my art on display on the site soon!

For a week i have had early nights for a change in bed not long after 7pm....not always asleep tho!! too much info........................!! anyway its now going upto midnight...so i think i will call it a day....NITE!! come back soon!!

Testing New Design

2009-01-29T10:33:00.000-08:00

The Posh Box Blog Designs installing and testing new blog design.

WooHoo man arriving today from Oz!

2009-01-27T01:37:00.000-08:00

Well i am sitting here after being away half the night!!
martin is due to arrive today, but not sure what time, he normally arrives around 5.30 a.m but he hasnt phoned yet to say he has arrived so he may have changed his flight to arrive 1 pm............ top it all i gotta go docs to collect a script at 11 a.m when i have better things to do.....

i sent a letter for repeat script to docs by post which never arrived as i am over subscibed already on medication i have to get a Blood Pressure check, and i've been out of the beta blockers that i take daily for 3 days!

anyway there isnt much else to add... i ve gotta finish tidying up and hoovering the floor then all is ready except the ''wining dining and ravaging!!
sees ya all later!

i think I F' up my blogger!!

2009-01-15T07:31:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone,
well i was trying to be clever and delete one of my accounts with Blogger, so i copy and pasted one of the blogs to another update, and got all the html stuff with it.................duh!! stupid or what...will be glad when the lady who is updating my site is ready to give me a hand with it, so i can undo stuff that doesnt need to be there!

anyway on to the good news for a change!!
''manthing'' has booked his flight and will be here within the next 7/12 days Yipee!! he has a flight for the 27th but will try and get here earlier and surpirse me...no doubt his earlier will be by 48 hrs, so hopefully he will be here for the 24/25th weekend!!

It seems ages since we been together i really hate every minute of him beign away sand i dotn know the answer to keeeping him contented and here!! he says lotso f affection, attention and love...well i think i give my all, so coem on girls, what more can i do!!
Others would have given up long ago and people have said i need my head testing to to have a long distant relationship, it is very stressfull for both of us, and i am sure he will have lost his curls by the time he arrives... he says i complain.....................!! Right !!

what's a girl supposed to do after 13 yrs of being together? when the man she loves and wishes to be with , goes 12,000 miles away from her to work, and never once offers to take me with him!! i reckon he's inhereited the ''walkabouts'' from the Abos!!

Still i must be positive... H e loves me and i lov ehim, and the distance between trips is getting less frequent nowadays...as he gets older, he doesnt want the back and forth from oz, so this trip, he has only been away 3 months......only she says..................once he was a way for over a year!! that was heart rendering imust admit..............i used to have gay pals in london to pass the tiem with...but they both gone to the 'place in the sky' God Bless them both!!

Well girls ....valentine's day coming up, first off its my 63 rd birthday in 2 weeks, and the man will here, so mustnt complain!! 14th feb is always a special day for me....i can never forget, cos my best pal Gareth was buried on that day in 1999......so Yucky Dah!! we will have a drink or two for him this year I hope!!

I am sitting here like a twit waiting for jo-anne to pop over...she only lives in the next bl;ock a few yards and a brick wall away! her and K offered to take me to M&s and exchange soem prezzies i got for xmas.... 3 weeks later i am still waiting....think it'll be quicker if i go on the bus!!

Jo has given me a nice surprise for my birthday...taking me to see my best pal leigh in Stevenage for the weekend on the 31st Jan........trouble is M will bere, probably jet lagged and wont feel in the least bit like travelling again...this has been arranged for a wehile so i cant back out of it...and dotn really want to, as leigh and I are like a pair of old socks when we get together, so looking forward to the time i will spend with her, glass of wine and a few spliffs no doubt!!

anyway going to get some coffee!!
catch ya all laters!! Bye!!

My little Corner...all about ME!

2009-01-15T07:20:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, 16 January 2007

My Little Corner
September 2006
Hello,
My name is Carolyn Webb, and i live in the UK!
I have created this space as 'my little corner of the world' to tell you all about ME!
Here you will find all about my likes, dislikes, my family, my 'manthing' and my work with Paint Shop Pro for creating email stationary with Incredimail. i hope you enjoy your visit and come back often!
Feel free to email me or leave a comment!
OK Let's Go!!
Today its damp and miserable, i didnt sleep last night at all, so had a lie in this morning, it is now around 4p.m here in chatham, and i am slumming it in pyjamas! One of the pleasures of living alone!!
I am 61 years old in 2 weeks time. I live in Chatham, Kent ,UK
I have 7 grown up children all live away from home,
Jeanette 40, David 39, Sarah 35, Michelle 34, Ian 29, Simon 28, and Jo-Anne 21.
As you can see I have been very busy bringing up my family, much of the time single handed! I am proud of my children, they are all very different, and live all over the place, but i will tell you about them all later.
At the moment I live on my own in an aparttment of a 3 floor block with elevator. I gave up my house 3 years ago as it was too big to manage, due to a back injury I incurred in the 60's when working as a student nurse.
I do not work now, just spend a lot of time at the computer, my kids say i will die attached to it!!
My main interest except for a 10 year relationship with my 'manthing', is trying to build a website where i can show my art work with Paint Shop Pro from which I create email stationary.
this is my first shot at this, so please bear with me, i am bound to 'mess-up' along the way!!
Sees you all later!!
Huggers !!

About Me

Carolyn Webb
I love my family and my computer, and the most important person in my life is my man, we have been in a long-term-long-distant relationship for 10 years, he is Englsih and lives iN Melbourne Australia! Slowly moving his business interests back tot he UK to spend more time togehter! My wish is to be with him forever, and maybe one day go back to Austrlai with him to see the rest of the places i missed in 1992 View my complete profile

_

No i haven't forgotten!!

2009-01-08T18:22:00.000-08:00

Sorry havent been here, had a shit few days...........
When i feel like that its better for me to be out of it and sleep...............

and its been so frigging cold here in Uk...well i thought so till soemone emailed me from canada and said it was -30c..BRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
Then the man calls to say it's too hot in Melbourne like 30c+....half his luck!! could do with soem of that sun here!! could do with him being here, yeh in my dreams...when he's ready and arrives we'll be so surprized will collapse of heart failure i think!

not that i am complaining mind...he always thinks i dotn have the right...for whatever reason.....what....a girl sits for months on end...and still he says wait!! and then he wonders why i get pissed right off!!

so what's been happening in my life.....well shit all!! Too cold and all the spare dosh i have is feeding the electricity to keep warm....and the top brass of the energy board have the nerve to tell us to wear extra jumpers, while they swan around in the life of luxury and hot houses!!

doesnt that piss you off, cos it does me...they wanna try living on DSS over 60's pension of £120 a week and see how they manage!! they wouldnt know how most of them!!

so that is my moan for the week!!

I was supposed to go to see my daughter today and couldnt afford to heat my flat and the train fair so i cancelled seeing my little grandson! the man did send me some money...but not a fortune so i used it for the electric!!

Jo and kayleigh have both had the flu, and it wasnt for want of trying to give it to me that I didnt catch it....Jo loves sharing everything including her germs!! but so far i havent caught it, and i dont want it either! Havent had a dose of flu for over 10 years! Then my Michelle says I dotn go out enough to catch germs! She could be right!

anyway think i have moaned enough, i am off to bed!! Nite everyone!

Back home after the hols!

2008-12-27T12:57:00.000-08:00

Wow!!
I had an absolutely fab time at Shell's over Xmas...... the journey wasnt too bad, we left home at 9.15a.m Kayleigh gave us a lift to the station and we were in Victoria by 11a.m after a short tube ride we arrived Liverpool Street and had time to grab a drink and a burger before boarding the train,,,,we arrived at Ipswich at 1.10pm ...Jo-Anne and I arrived in Holbrook at Michelle's house at around 1.30pm

we spent the afternoon and evening resting and chatting about the journey, early evening Ian my son arrived with his Italian friend Michela, and his lovely husky dog Miscje..they stayed till around 10pm...Dave's mum Pat lives with Michelle and Dave, she wasnt too well this year, has arthritis in her hips and is in a lot of pain... old friend Neil turned up to spend the holidays with all of us as he has done every Chrstmas that Michelle and Dave have lived in Holbrook.... we all spent the rest of the evening chatting, watching Tv and enjoying each others company! Martin phoned around 8pm...but ian playing silly devils on the phone talking in foreign language told all callers we werent at home............

after a nice evening we all retired to bed around 1 a.m christmas morning......
By 9a.m we were all up and about, Amy (Dave's 14 yr old daughter) was wanting to open prezzies but we waited for ian to arrive with Michela....in between times Michelle made us scrambled egg and bucks fizz for brekkie!! we all sat down in the lounge and opened prezzies....i recieved a pair of UG boots fur lined winter warmers!smellies, a book, some perfumed candles, cardigan, nightwear, and a carry-all bag on wheels.......at 12 noon we all walked across the road to the local pub for the traditional xmas drink......................

we returned to michelle's house around 1.15pm and all chipped in to prepare ready for dinner, which was served around 3pm.............Once again Michelle did her self proud and cooked the most wonderful dinner for all of us...followed by Christmas pudd!!............... After which we were all truly stuffed.... after clearing the table and putting all the dirties in the dish washer we retired to the lounge to relaxand enjoy the rest of the day.................. all of us were pretty exhausted, full of food and drink...... and most , including me, dozed off in front of the TV for an odd hour or so............and so the day went on ....played silly games, laughed and joked, watched the xmas edition of east enders.....then most of the adults wanted to watch some stupid film...and by 11.30pm all i wanted was to go to bed...so i retired with a hot bath and some much needed sleep!

I dotn think my Michelle ever stops...she always finds something to do, cleaning, baking, or cooking meals... I did question her energy to which her reply was ''Mum you can stop when you're dead!''

Most of us slept in after an early start the day before.......
Boxing day was a very simlar day, full of food, drink and laughing, and being with my family............there was only one person missing who would have made my holiday the best ever..........my ''manthing''!! Before i went to bed i asked Jo-Anne to make sure I was up and around by 10 a.m at the latest as I wanted to be on my way and back home before dark.........Michlee had looked up the times of trains and I wanted to aim for the 12.45 from Ipswich.....with no direct service back to Liverpool street there was bound to be a delay................

When we got up this morning it was freezing cold and still is..always seems much colder in Suffolk as there is much open ground and Michelle lives in a small village where you can't get a mobile phone signal...............

After saying our thanks to Michelle, Dave, Amy and Pat for havign Jo and I, and giving us both a brill holiday time and stay ,the taxi arrived to take Jo-Anne and I to ipswich station, whereupon we found the 12.40 train had been canelled and we could either wait till 1.40 for the next connection or go on the one already in the station to Ilford, then change trains twice to liverpool street.....which we decided upon...............arriving at Ilford i was greeted by a huge ammount of steps to climb over the next change of train........I had to ask the proter to assist me with bags..... had a 10 minute wait for a train....by then it was gone 2pm.........eventually afterr a lot of too-ing and fro-ing we arrived at Victoria to get the 15.09 to Chatham....even that train was a slow one and took over an hour instead of the usual fast and 40 minute journey...........
Jo-Anne's girlfriend kayleigh picked us up at the station and were were indoors just after 16.30 and frozen stiff with cold!

I switiched the computer on at around 6pm only to find that since i had installed Internet Explorer 7 last week it had corrupted my internet connection so i spent the next 35 minutes on the phone to my ISP tekkie talking me through it to correct it............. and that's where i came in...still cold and tired and thinkign i will have an early night with warm bath.......................

may i take this opportunity to wish you all a healthy Happy New Year for 2009

sees ya all later!!

getting ready for christmas...yuk!

2008-12-23T11:51:00.002-08:00

Hi everyone,

well i am slobbing tonight getting ready for the long journey to Ipswich to spend xmas with my daughter Michelle, if the trains all run correctly we should be there around 1pm

i dotn really like Christmas since my parents died, or my two best friends Gareth and Kevin....as my mum used to hold a special day for all the family to meet up, since she has died Michelle has taken over bless her as she knows i couldtn do it.... but my lot arent interested in getting together as a complete family...my sister used to coem with her hubby, and my brother and his 2 kids and wife, and then me being the eldest with the 7 kids...and we used have a lovely tiem all round!

the last time we did that was the christmas/new year of 1989...2 years before my mum died, we all got together and had a wonderful time.....
after that my eldest daughter did it for 2 chritmases when she lived in Berkshire, but ever since then Jo and me have gone to Michelle's.......

then mention the ''manthing'' Martin in all of 12 years we ve been together he hasnt once been here for me over Christmas, and the same this year..... you'd have thought as we both dont like it, we could celebrate together in Australia, half his luck, he is in the sunshine and wont send for me...and i am stuck here, well no point going all that way if he doesnt want me now is there!

i havent done much art work this week, infact hardly any, one of my groups was closed down, tso i spent one day clearing out my hard drive and facebook and my Incredimail style box of all the tubes that could be considered copyright....just incase anyone with any authority is reading this blog... i wiped around 2/3 GB from my computer...........

I hope you all have a peaceful happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year.... I am away till Saturday pm....see you then!

Copyright....Ba...humbug!

2008-12-17T21:23:00.000-08:00

What a hell of a last 3 days.....
Poor Kimmi at TBK too.....
well at least she is up and running again...but we dont know where the original snitch came from, tho she may have well found out by now...
.
I spent this arvo cleaning my hard drive and facebook of any stuff that was original copyright before it was tubed about 5GB so lost a lot of tubes, rather that than have ''big brother''watching my every move and closing my group down too...

.. all this has freaked me out i can tell you...some people think it is all a joke or cannot understand what is happening so i will explain...
.... a tube is an image without background taken from anywhere...a graphic a photo or original art work from an artis or artists...a lot of people including me get these from downloading off the internet, some are copyright which you have to pay tohave a license to use and some are not... if you use them knowingly without paying for a license from the artist you can get into serious trouble...unfortunately there are unscrupulous people out there that just download anything with or without copyright so you cannot tell unless you recognise the art work yourself...........

so that was my day boring to say the least but it had to be done...dont want my little group closed down....or anyone elses either, whicha pparently they can do...Kimmi's was closed becos she had people sending stuff into her group that was copyright, not becos she did anything wrong herself..she pays for most of her art work and is a pro herself too!

Jo enjoyed her panto last night and is getting excited ,,,she also has been invited to her girlfriend's parents house this weekend,,,first time ever, so she is nervous...meet the parents!!

managed to get in an hours worth of TV tonight on BBC1(UK TV) and cliff richard and the Shadows were on as guests for the Royal variety Show in London....... Cliff must be 67/8 by now and he still looks good tho beginning to age now...shame...still good voice and he was dancing a little on stage too......

saw one of my girl's last week and dropped a hint I would love 2 tickets to see his live show next year in london, Cliff is doing his last reunion tour with the Shadows, i have seen cliff live 3 or 4 times, the last was about 8 years ago in Hyde Park London...this concert will be special....and i havent seen the Shadows before in concert! so keeping my fingers crossed, Martin phoned tonight and told me to tell the girls he'll foot half the cost!
poor Michelle and Dave have both got the flu and are very poorly...hope they are both well for next week when Jo and I land on them for a few days at Christmas.....

Phoned my mate Bryan in Oz tonight for a chat, Jo calls him her 2nd dad, and is very fond of him as i am too, never met him or his girlfriend, just met through Incredimail around 5 years ago and have stayed in touch are real good friends

well thats about me bushed for tonight peeps, so i think i will hit the hay...its gone 5.30 a.m here another late night again!! must try and put some pics in later this week for yas!

WooHoo!...thank God that's over

2008-12-16T09:00:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone,
i didnt go to bed till around 8 a.m this morning, very stressed out with all that shit yesterday...couldnt sleep.... wasnt in the mood...and now i read in a n email this morning that TBK, one of my oldest groups has been closed for the very thing i was speaking about Copyright Police...... trouble is Kimmi was closed without any warning or prior notification of anything wrong, and unaware she had used anything by Stickerchic.or even received anything from others through her group...........

anyway as they say. 'down under'..shit hapens..its only the depth that varies! love that expression....so true.............

Kimmi has reopened TBK as tbk2 with yahoo but swears she will coem over to Google if there is any more rubbish! Gives us all food for thought I suppose!

Jo-Anne my youngest 23, is going to a pantomime tonight with her girlfriend...think its cinderella starring one of the EastEnders characters from BBC TV...... things are looking up for Jo for those who have been following my news about her......

this time last year she was using heroine and very unhappy...she is now back with her X girlfriend on a serious basis, they have been living together now for over 6 months and she hot to meet K's parents a few weeks ago! Jo is starting a 26 wk course on the basic education as her spelling is not that good or her maths and the dole office will give her a 'travel card' for her efforts, so glad about that going to Ipswich costs £36 return for 5 days and she gets half price rail..

Kayleigh is looking for a new job to start in the new year, she was a CARAT worker for HMP in the UK ..that is a care and rehab officer for drug offenders in prison...shame she has left the service , my eldest son David is inside at Elmlea, Kent where she worked.

its bloody freezing today.....best place is indoors warm....only slumming not even dressed, cant be bothered, not going anywhere except back to bed early tonight to catch up on missed sleep!!

thanks for those that are following me...not sure what that all means but will have to read up on it! glad you are enjoying my moans and groans!!

sees ya all later maybe! gotta remember to pop in every now and then! back to PSP!

Newbie starting out 16/12/08

2008-12-15T18:48:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm off, never doen this before...so here goes!!

What a shit dsay i've had today....didn't get to sleep till gone 5 a.m and was awake by 1pm...got up and dressed, checked my e mails from yahoo groups....wrong thing to do.....some nasty person obviously turned me into the copyright people for using art without permision for one of my stationaries that I create with Paint shop pro...anyway to cut a long story short so i wont bore you to death...i forwarded the letter to my mods in the groups...not knowing that it would start an erruption, ending with me stressing and leaving 3 groups and losing people i thought were friends! Enough said about that i think...before i go stark raving NUTS!

In Yahoo you soon find out who are friends and just accquaintances... i have been with one particular group called TBK for over 5 years... it is owned by a very dear person called Kimmi...she sticks with her little family like glue and backs us all the way, wont tolerate any trouble of any kind...but is always there to give advice or help in anyway she can....

Anyway most of you know me..but for those that dotn i am Brit...almost 63, and live in Chatham , Kent, UK. I am mum to 7 grown up kids....recently made a first time grandmother to my eldest daughter's first- born son Joshua 8 weeks ago...

I have a long term partner Martin whose home is in Australia, he is a Brit ,spending a lot of time with me here....been with him for 12 years now.....long distant , long term....my kids say I am crazy for putting up with him and his tantrums, but you cant help who you love can you, and i know he'd never hurt me in anyway and that he loves me too...just finds it hard to commit after being hurt himself.....maybe one day... he has proposed twice, but we 've both been married, done that, worn the T shirt and are very wary... so nothing positive there yet!!

I am a bit of a night owl, while he is away, as you can see from the time here..gone 3 a.m don't sleep much and tend to spend my time on computer creating e mail stationary for Incredimail with Paint Shop Pro... i do it all for free and for pleasure.....i belong to around 8 yahoo groups including 2 Aussie ones...and also have one of my own groups that i opened only a few weeks ago for people to receive my own creations

Christmas just around the corner, i dislike this tiem of year intensely, not for any religious reason... i was brought up in Christian home and fed on billy graham the evngelist....just people are so rude and think for a few estra days shopping the end of the world is coming..pushing, shoving............... so i tend to stay out of it all as much as possible...except....

I will be spending it with one of my daughter's and her husband...newly wed only a month ago, Michelle 36, and hubbie Dave live in Suffolk in small village outside of Ipswich, so quiet you cant even get a mobile signal there..... only one shop, one pub, one church and a village school in the little village....they will spoil me rotten...and i will have a great time... i doubt i will get time to reflect on the sadness of my parents not being alive or my two great friends i lost from HIV+ a few years ago, or the fact Martin can't be with me....but hey that is no surprise... he never has been with me for Christmas in the 12 years we've been together.....tho' he has promised to be here very soon maybe before the end of the hols..... as his business in Oz is almost done!

so that's about it from me today...or should i say now tomorrow Tuesday... i am going to try and add so pics of family and some of the stationary i create very soon so look out for them!! T'ra for now!